Naylor’s Mailer #6: Cooperative Connection versus Network Equity

Earlier this week I participated in a Q & A session on the social network, LinkedIn.

The essence of the question was: “What are your thoughts about network equity? Can an individual continue to draw down on a peer/professional/social network without making regular deposits or connections?” 

I don't keep score with my network and it goes against my principals of cooperative intelligence which promote giving practices and attitudes to enhance leadership, connection and communication. I don't give to get: it's that simple. 

Coach Karen Cleve writes in her e-zine, The Spark, “See your work and your service in the bigger context of your life, rather than ‘keeping score’ in the moment.” I think keeping score is quite selfish and takes too much time from my pursuits in life. It takes a lot less time and is more enjoyable to help people out, since most people are good and deserving. I often help others, especially those further down the experience/expertise ladder than me. I think of this as a pay back for those who have helped me who are more experienced and connected than I’ll ever be.

That said, people who are primarily “Takers,” who come to you only when they need a favor, do risk being left out over time. It's hard to take someone seriously when all they do is ask for help and don't even tell you they got that new job, for example.  So your relationship from them is only a one-way, Gimme. Relationships need to be two way in order to flourish.

I also like the book “Power Networking” by Donna Fisher and Sandy Vilas. Paraphrasing a bit, you are helped because you help others: no strings attached. Instead of focusing on self-interest, you are seeking the common good. Like a boomerang, the help we give comes back to us, though often in a roundabout way. There are some people in your network you really can't help all that much; and others you help continuously. It's seldom that the ones you help the most, help you the most. Often enough, that's just how life works out.

The day after the loss of Tim Russert of “Meet the Press,” executive producer Betsy Fischer (who started as an intern on “Meet the Press”) recalled Tim’s words: "He always said the best exercise for the human heart was to bend down and pick someone else up.”  I couldn’t express this better as the attitude behind cooperative connection.  Have a great week!

Ellen Naylor, CEO of The Business Intelligence Source (TBIS), has been a marketing, sales and competitive intelligence (CI) professional for almost 30 years. TBIS empowers company’s product development by integrating the intelligence gathered by sales, marketing and customers; and puts processes in place to assure ongoing intelligence integration. We also develop sustainable CI processes; and engage attendees through results-driven marketing workshops. 

We teach and consult individuals and companies to develop Cooperative Intelligence practices: the right people skills to be a dynamic manager through leading, connecting and communicating. Ellen lives at 9,000 feet in the Rocky Mountains with her husband, Rodgers the artist and Cocoa the cat.

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